PETE ABRAMS QUOTES

American writer and illustrator (1970- )

I thought without his tongue we'd be back in control! And it worked! His tongue is no more!

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, October 31, 2017


I'm not actually going to blow you out of the airlock Roberts. I just need you in a quiet place where you won't blurt out something stupid at the wrong time near the wrong watch.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, November 17, 2017


The threat-to-minute ratio on this ship is staggering.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, December 29, 2017


You are free to move about the cabin. Unless your hands are duct-taped together.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, December 21, 2017


You gotta respect a girl who realizes that romantic relationships are built on lies and goes to town with it!

PETE ABRAMS

"That Which Redeems", Sluggy Freelance, Aug. 26, 2004

Tags: women, lying


That which redeems consumes.

PETE ABRAMS

"That Which Redeems", Sluggy Freelance, Jul. 6, 2004

Tags: redemption


Isn't everything a little weird? We all know the answer. Man, machine, reality. What holds it together is that we're all nuts! And that is the ultimate truth, and maybe that's all we need. That and ferret-pee-proof upholstery.

PETE ABRAMS

"The Isle of Doctor Steve", Sluggy Freelance, Oct. 17, 1999

Tags: nonsense, madness


I think of Torg as a friend, a brother. My desire to punch Val in the head is more like a hobby.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, August 27, 1998


And another adventure draws to a close with the classic happy ending. Happy except for the fact that Berk is dead, Aylee is gone, and Gwynn is a soulless vegetable. At least the bad guy got away! Ok, so the ending wasn't so happy, but hey, you can be happy to know nothing else can go wrong!

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, March 3, 1999


This looks like a job for emergency pants!

PETE ABRAMS

"Books", Sluggy Freelance, Apr. 17, 2002

Tags: funny


You want to know what OASIS is? You want to know the TRUTH? It's just on the other side of this door. That I am really hoping is unlocked.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, August 29, 2017

Tags: truth


Wow! When you become a vampire, men become broad shouldered and muscle-bound and women become tall and thin! You ever think of selling this on QVC?

PETE ABRAMS

"Vampires", Sluggy Freelance, Sep. 27, 1998

Tags: vampires


When you start with wussie mortals, you get wussie demons. Sure, they steal souls and rend flesh occasionally, but they choke up in a pinch.

PETE ABRAMS

"That Which Redeems II", Sluggy Freelance, Sep. 22, 2004


How did you know that what you sought was redemption and not righteous vengeance?

PETE ABRAMS

"That Which Redeems II", Sluggy Freelance, Nov. 22, 2004

Tags: redemption, vengeance


Redemption is overrated.

PETE ABRAMS

"That Which Redeems II", Sluggy Freelance, Nov. 22, 2004

Tags: redemption


Get your arm off of me: I'm trying to listen for shoulder-worms in your rotator cuff.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, December 26, 2017


The hardest thing about winning is trying to do so without losing something of greater importance.

PETE ABRAMS

"Torg Potter and the Sorcerer's Nuts", Sluggy Freelance, Sep. 24, 2002

Tags: winning


Great things can rise from fetid pits of wanton death and sorrow.

PETE ABRAMS

Sluggy Freelance, December 22, 2017

Tags: sorrow


I'm sorry we cannot help you get home to your dimension. We have a pressing mission to get cough-syrup to a dying planet.

PETE ABRAMS

"The Sci-Fi Adventure", Sluggy Freelance, Oct. 5, 1997


You've lost sight of the fact that it is our weeniness that makes us human!

PETE ABRAMS

"Dangerous Days Ahead", Sluggy Freelance, Jul. 16, 2002

Tags: humanity