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ROSEANNE BARR QUOTES

Birth control that really works: Every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

ROSEANNE BARR, Julia Gilden's Woman to Woman

I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California I have to go to prison don't I? I think you only get three.

ROSEANNE BARR, Larry King Live, Mar. 2, 2006

I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with.

ROSEANNE BARR, Larry King Live, Mar. 2, 2006

Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.

ROSEANNE BARR, Larry King Live, Mar. 2, 2006

I'm funnier now because I'm braver and less full of hate, so everything is even more ridiculous than it was before.

ROSEANNE BARR, interview, May, 2003

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.

ROSEANNE BARR, Larry King Live, Mar. 2, 2006

This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.

ROSEANNE BARR, The Tonight Show, 1985

Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word "housewife." I prefer to be called "domestic goddess."

ROSEANNE BARR, The Tonight Show, 1985

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

ROSEANNE BARR, London Independent, Feb. 9, 2006

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

ROSEANNE BARR, attributed, Women Know Everything!


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