American comedian (1908-2002)
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
MILTON BERLE
Forbes, 1989
You can fool some of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time. That's usually enough.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Two is company. Three is poor birth control.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Money won't buy you happiness. Money won't buy you love. Money won't buy you health. But the way I see it is--give me the money and I'll rent them.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
MILTON BERLE
attributed, The Fifth and Far Finer Than the First Four 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
For the first two years I was married, I thought the only flavor was charcoal.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Success is relative. The more success, the more relatives.
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File