LENNY BRUCE QUOTES

stand-up comedian & social critic (1925-1966)

There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.

LENNY BRUCE

How to Talk Dirty and Influence People


I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up.

LENNY BRUCE

New York Times, November 23, 1975


A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

LENNY BRUCE

New York Times, November 23, 1975


In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.

LENNY BRUCE

"The comedy master turned martyr"


Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

LENNY BRUCE

The Essential Lenny Bruce

Tags: God


The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

LENNY BRUCE

"Politics", The Essential Lenny Bruce


If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

LENNY BRUCE

New York Times, November 23, 1975


Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

LENNY BRUCE

The Essential Lenny Bruce


Life is a four-letter word.

LENNY BRUCE

"The comedy master turned martyr"


The reason there's so much ignorance is that those who have it are so eager to share it.

LENNY BRUCE

New York Times, November 23, 1975


The whole motivation for any performer is "Look at me, Ma."

LENNY BRUCE

attributed, The Harper Book of Quotations


The only honest art form is laughter.

LENNY BRUCE

The Essential Lenny Bruce


I was not born in a vacuum. Every thought I have belongs to someone else.

LENNY BRUCE

How to Talk Dirty and Influence People


Nobody can offend you by telling a dirty toilet story. They can offend you because it's trite; you've heard it many, many times.

LENNY BRUCE

How to Talk Dirty and Influence People


All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

LENNY BRUCE

New York Times, November 23, 1975


The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

LENNY BRUCE

attributed, Lenny Bruce: Swear to Tell the Truth


There's a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at.

LENNY BRUCE

Ladies and Gentlemen, Lenny Bruce


I guess what happens is, if you get arrested in Town A (Philadelphia) and then Town B (San Francisco)--with a lot of publicity--then when you get to Town C they have to arrest you or what kind of sh*thouse town are they running?

LENNY BRUCE

How to Talk Dirty and Influence People


If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.

LENNY BRUCE

"New York pardons late Lenny Bruce"