quotations about funerals
People feel guilty enough at funerals without having more guilt heaped on. I would prefer a bighearted preacher giving my eulogy, someone inclined to widen heaven's doors. I don't want to leave folks wondering whether I made it.
PHILIP GULLEY
For Everything a Season
It is extremely hard to have a funeral when you don't have anything to bury.
ELLEN GILCHRIST
A Dangerous Age
In my recent experiences with death and funerals, I have come to appreciate the need for rituals, for the ceremony, where once I simply felt impatience, even disgust, at the whole procedure. It is hard, though, hard to make a meaningful ceremony out of death in America in our time. Certainly the funeral industry isn't interested in authenticity, it's interested in efficiency, profit, and assembly-line repetition.
ADOLF HESCHL
Das Intelligente Genom
Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.
HERMAN MELVILLE
Israel Potter
After Auschwitz, I no longer cry at funerals.
CHARLOTTE DELBO
Auschwitz and After
There was that feeling one gets in a ride to a cemetery trailing a body in a coffin -- an impatience with the dead, a longing to be back home where one could get on with the illusion that not death but daily life is the permanent condition.
E. L. DOCTOROW
Homer & Langley
Most souls attend their funerals and have some feelings about them, but it's such an individual event. Some souls don't care what happens to their physical bodies. They see the funeral as a ritual for the living so they don't always attend.
ECHO L. BODINE
Echoes of the Soul
You always wonder about your funeral. How big? Who'll show up? In the end it's meaningless. You realize, once you die, that a funeral as for everyone else, not you.
MITCH ALBOM
The Next Person You Meet in Heaven
Funerals all over the world everywhere every minute. Shovelling them under by the cartload doublequick. Thousands every hour. Too many in the world.
JAMES JOYCE
Ulysses
In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of entertainment.
GEORGE ADE
Cosmopolitan Magazine, Feb. 1928
I don't like funerals and don't want one after I die. Of course I won't have anything to say about it.
GENE AMOLE
The Last Chapter
Goin' to the funeral home
Got me a coffin
Shiny and black
I'm goin' to the funeral
And I'm never comin' back
DANIEL JOHNSTON
"Funeral Home", Continued Story
Enemies always attend each other's funerals. I guess it is a way of knowing they won.
M.C.V. EGAN
Defined by Others
The dead do not know the value of white sheets.
HAITIAN PROVERB
FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Death is not extinguishing the light. It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
RABINDRANATH TAGORE
attributed, Message of the East
What could be more universal than death? Yet what an incredible variety of responses it evokes ... Funerals are the occasion for avoiding people or holding parties, for fighting or having sexual orgies, for weeping or laughing, in a thousand different combinations. The diversity of cultural reaction is a measure of the universal impact of death.
PETER METCALF
Celebrations of Death
It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their ankles.
NEIL GAIMAN
American Gods
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
GARRISON KEILLOR
"Lecture in San Francisco,", Lake Wobegon Days
If the cost of funerals continues to go up, some people will be better off alive.
EVAN ESAR
20,000 Quips & Quotes