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quotations about golf

Golf is not just exercise; it is an adventure, a romance…. a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined ... you have to live with the consequences of each action.

HAROLD SEGALL, New York Times, Jun. 15, 1986

Golf ... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

P.G. WODEHOUSE, The Clicking of Cuthbert

Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, “If you are going to keep company with me, don’t embarrass me.”

GARY PLAYER, Christian Science Monitor, Jun. 24, 1965

Golf ... combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

P.J. O'ROURKE, Modern Manners

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

PETE DYE, Randy Voorhees' As Hogan Said...

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.

ROBERT LYND, Erin Barrett's Al Capone Was a Golfer

Golf is the Great Mystery.

P.G. WODEHOUSE, The Heart of Gold

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

MARK TWAIN, Greatly Exaggerated: The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

The uglier a man's legs are the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.

H.G. WELLS, Bealby

Golf is not a game of great shots. It’s a game of the most misses. The people who win make the smallest mistakes.

GENE LITTLER, interview, Mar. 22, 1969

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

PAUL GALLICO, New York Times, Mar. 6, 1977

From the beginning it was drilled into me that a golf course was a place where character fully reveals itself -- both its strengths and its flaws. As a result, I learned early not only to fix my ball marks but also to congratulate an opponent on a good shot, avoid walking ahead of a player preparing to shoot, remain perfectly still when someone else was playing, and a score of other small courtesies that revealed, in my father's mind, one's abiding respect for the game.

ARNOLD PALMER, A Golfer's Life

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

MICHAEL GREEN, The Art of Coarse Golf

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.

JACK BENNY, Erin Barrett's Al Capone Was a Golfer

It always helps to have a technique. In golf, it's all about visualizing. You have to practice; being in the situation is the only thing that helps. You have to make all the mistakes and you have to learn from them. The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel and then you learn.

LORENA OCHOA, Newsweek, Oct. 15, 2007

I started golf in my forties, which is the ultimate optimism.

MICHAEL J. FOX, Esquire, Dec. 2007

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.


The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.

GARRISON KEILLOR, "The Art of Travel," A Prairie Home Companion, Jul. 28, 2009

Golf is typical capitalist lunacy.


Golf is deceptively simple, endlessly complicated. A child can play it well and a grown man can never master it. It is almost a science, yet it is a puzzle with no answer.


Although practice swings
Can be helpful things,
Twere better, indeed, not take any
Than to fiddle and fret
And before playing get
Exhausted from taking too many.

RICHARD ARMOUR, "Preliminaries"

I play golf religiously. If I make a shot ... it's a miracle!

TOM WILSON, Ziggy, Apr. 4, 1998

A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?

DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, December 12, 2014

A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only played the front nine.

JAY LENO, The Tonight Show, October 12, 2009

It's a game of constant adjustment and the guy that adjusts the best is the best player.

GENE LITTLER, attributed, The Gigantic Book of Golf Quotations

Browse Golf Trivia

PGA Tour - Official site.

Golf - Wikipedia article.

USGA - United States Golf Association


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