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JOSEPH HELLER QUOTES

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning. Garroting. That's what justice is.

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

War ... it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

Insanity is contagious.

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

The chaplain had sinned, and it was good. Common sense told him that telling lies and defecting from duty were sins. On the other hand, everyone knew that sin was evil and that no good could come from evil. But he did feel good; he felt positively marvelous. Consequently, it followed logically that telling lies and defecting from duty could not be sins. The chaplain had mastered, in a moment of divine intuition, the handy technique of protective rationalization, and he was exhilarated by his discovery. It was miraculous.

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22

How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in his divine system of creation?

JOSEPH HELLER, Catch 22


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