FRAN LEBOWITZ QUOTES

American author (1950- )

Fran Lebowitz quote

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, Metropolitan Life

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Tags: beauty


My other hobby, because I just love any job with a gavel, is auctioneer. And I so often have presided over charity auctions in New York that many years ago Sotheby's sent me my own gavel. Now, the Sotheby's gavel is infinitely more elegant--it came in a little velvet bag, with "Sotheby's" inscribed in gold. It hangs in my library. I feel that everyone has occasion to use a gavel at various times everyday, they just don't think of it.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Ruminator Magazine, August/September 2005

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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, attributed, Food and Drink: A Book of Quotations

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London -- a place you go to get bronchitis.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, attributed, Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions

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Tags: London


Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, attributed, 1001 Greatest Things Ever Said about California

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When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree. When my mother explained it, I kept after her: What are you saying? What do you mean? I couldn't believe it. It was astonishing. It was like--here's the man who makes all the trees. Then I wanted to be a writer, because, I suppose, it seemed the closest thing to being God.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, The Paris Review, summer 1993

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Tags: books


If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world had a gavel and could bang it and get everyone's attention right away and make their displeasure known, I believe the level of actual violence in the world would just disappear to practically nothing.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Ruminator Magazine, August/September 2005

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Tags: war


There's nothing like being old to be sure of everything.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Index Magazine, 1997

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Tags: old age


I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, The Paris Review, summer 1993

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Tags: youth


Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, Metropolitan Life

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That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, The Fran Lebowitz Reader

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Tags: civilization


The terrible state of public education has paid huge dividends in ignorance. Huge. We now have a country that can be told blatant lies -- easily checkable, blatant lies -- and I'm not talking about the covert workings of the CIA. When we have a terrorist attack, on September 11, 2001 with 19 men -- 15 of them are Saudis -- and five minutes later the whole country thinks they're from Iraq -- how can you have faith in the public? This is an easily checkable fact. The whole country is like the O. J. Simpson jurors.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Ruminator Magazine, August/September 2005

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Tags: ignorance


I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, The Paris Review, summer 1993

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Tags: writing


Ever since I was a little child, I refused to see movies of books that I loved. Because you already know what Heidi looks like and she doesn't look like Shirley Temple.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Index Magazine

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Tags: Shirley Temple


We are all born with a rut radar. Mine is finely wired, a little oversensitive maybe. Perhaps just a bit hyperactive. Twenty steady boyfriends before turning 16, a new best friend 12 times a year, switched college majors every time I met someone who seemed exactly like the sort of person I really, really wanted to be. I'm not fickle. I'm just never there yet.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, Tales From A Broad: An Unreliable Memoir

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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, attributed, Say It With Style

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Tags: children


I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Ruminator Magazine, August/September 2005

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I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, The Paris Review, summer 1993

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Tags: age


The theater itself is so archaic and old fashioned, that it doesn't really matter to me whether it's on Avenue D or at the Helen Hayes Theater. What's the difference? It's still a very nostalgic form. Also, it means you're knowingly walking into a room where there's actors. I feel it's very embarrassing. Because, you know, they're right there. You always think like, they can see you, and I think it's mortifying, frankly, and I hate to sit near the front, where you feel they actually might see you. It's too ... it's too live.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, interview, Index Magazine, 1997

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Tags: theatre


Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.

FRAN LEBOWITZ, Metropolitan Life

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Tags: Rome