quotations about golf
Golf asks something of a man. It makes one loathe mediocrity. It seems to say, “If you are going to keep company with me, don’t embarrass me.”
GARY PLAYER
Christian Science Monitor, Jun. 24, 1965
A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
DAVID LETTERMAN
Late Show with David Letterman, December 12, 2014
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
G. K. CHESTERTON
attributed, 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Golf is not a game of great shots. It’s a game of the most misses. The people who win make the smallest mistakes.
GENE LITTLER
interview, Mar. 22, 1969
Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.
JAMES BARRETT RESTON
Uncle Anthony's Unabridged Analogies
It always helps to have a technique. In golf, it's all about visualizing. You have to practice; being in the situation is the only thing that helps. You have to make all the mistakes and you have to learn from them. The more you do it, the more comfortable you feel and then you learn.
LORENA OCHOA
Newsweek, Oct. 15, 2007
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.
MICHAEL GREEN
The Art of Coarse Golf
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
TIGER WOODS
attributed, The Ultimate Book of Quotations
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
ROBERT LYND
attributed, Al Capone Was a Golfer
The true test is against "Old Man Par" and the golf course itself.
JACQUI NICOLETTI MCSORLEY & JOHNNY GONZALES
Golf Guide for Parents and Players
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
PAUL GALLICO
New York Times, Mar. 6, 1977
The uglier a man's legs are the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
H.G. WELLS
Bealby
Golf epitomizes the tame world. On a golf course nature is neutered. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterility.... The enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature.
JAY GRIFFITHS
Wild: An Elemental Journey
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
GERALD FORD
attributed, The Bathroom Golf Book
Golf is not just exercise; it is an adventure, a romance…. a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined ... you have to live with the consequences of each action.
HAROLD SEGALL
New York Times, Jun. 15, 1986
It's a game of constant adjustment and the guy that adjusts the best is the best player.
GENE LITTLER
attributed, The Gigantic Book of Golf Quotations
One good thing about golf -- a man doesn't get into any holes he can't get out of.
E. C. MCKENZIE
14,000 Quips and Quotes
Golf is what letter-carrying, ditch-digging, and carpet- beating would be if those three tasks had to be performed on the same hot afternoon in plaid slacks and bright shirts by gentlemen who require a different implement for every mood.
ANONYMOUS
Golf Digest, 1972
There is no shape nor size of body, no awkwardness nor ungainliness, which puts good golf beyond one's reach. There are good golfers with spectacles, with one eye, with one leg, even with one arm. None but the absolute blind need despair.
W. G. SIMPSON
"The Praise and Origin of Golf", Classic Golf Stories
Golf ... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The Clicking of Cuthbert