American artist, poet & humorist (1866-1951)
Can a woman entertain a man and a pet at the same time? I say unto thee, one of the twain shall suffer jealousy.
GELETT BURGESS
The Maxims of Methuselah
Many children are nowayears too lazy even to do their own playing.
GELETT BURGESS
The Romance of the Commonplace
Seek one woman whom thou canst trust, and to her who lovest thee best, tell thy secrets. She will deliver thee from the hands of strange women, she will expose their craft; and of her who flattereth thee, will she make known the reason.
GELETT BURGESS
The Maxims of Methuselah
A wedding in haste is worth two at leisure.
GELETT BURGESS
The Maxims of Methuselah
Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege; yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.
GELETT BURGESS
The Maxims of Methuselah
For humor is the medium through which all the phenomena of human intercourse may be witnessed, and for those normal minds that possess it, tints this world with a rare color.
GELETT BURGESS
The Romance of the Commonplace
What a dull world it would be if everyone were modest, discreet and loyal to that conformity which is called good taste! If, in short, there were no fools to keep us amused. What would divert us from the deadly routine of seriousness?
GELETT BURGESS
The Romance of the Commonplace