American pianist, actor, & comedian (1906-1972)
It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
OSCAR LEVANT, An American in Paris
You know the only reason I'm appearing here is there's no more beds in the mental institution.
OSCAR LEVANT, The Jack Paar Tonight Show
An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
OSCAR LEVANT, Coronet Magazine, September 1968
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, The Educator's Book of Quotes
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, Values of the Wise: Humanity's Highest Aspirations
In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, Great Hollywood Wit
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
OSCAR LEVANT, TIME Magazine, May 5, 1958
It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.
OSCAR LEVANT, ad-lib line, Humoresque
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, TIME Magazine, August 28, 1972
My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
OSCAR LEVANT, The Memoirs of an Amnesiac
I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
OSCAR LEVANT, Humoresque
Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
OSCAR LEVANT, comment upon Marilyn Monroe's conversion to Judaism, The Oscar Levant Show
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom
I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.
OSCAR LEVANT, on his role in the movie Humoresque, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
She was born with a silver flask in her mouth.
OSCAR LEVANT, Humoresque
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, Memorable Quotations: Jewish Writers of the Past
How long have you been working for that virtuoso of the magic violin? I don't mean that as a compliment. I only say a magic violin because when he plays it, everyone disappears.
OSCAR LEVANT, "Jack Goes to Doctor", The Jack Benny Program, November 30, 1958
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, Celebrity Register: An Irreverent Compendium of American Quotable Notables
He uses his music as an accompaniment to his conducting.
OSCAR LEVANT, comment about Leonard Bernstein, The Memoirs of an Amnesiac
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
OSCAR LEVANT, attributed, The Portable Curmudgeon