American comedian (1953- )
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
RITA RUDNER
stand-up routine
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
RITA RUDNER
stand-up routine
Women men want to sleep with always win when men are making the decisions.
RITA RUDNER
Tickled Pink: A Comic Novel
News flash. My favorite color is no longer pink. It is purple. Purple is the new pink. Brown is the new black and blue is the new white. Also stars are the new stripes and circles are the new squares. I feel sorry for people who are currently making flags. It's all so confusing.
RITA RUDNER
interview, Huffington Post, March 18, 2013
When I was working on the road, I always enjoyed the actual show, but waking up at four in the morning to get a plane that has been delayed and running through the airport to make a connection in Dallas to a plane that has not been delayed, only to sit on the runway and wait for the thunderstorm to pass before arriving in Pin Point, KY, to discover that your luggage is still in L.A. is nobody's idea of fun.
RITA RUDNER
interview, Shecky Magazine
I always have the feeling that I'm never going to be able to write anything funny again. That's why I keep writing funny things. I have to prove to myself that I'm wrong.
RITA RUDNER
interview, Huffington Post, March 18, 2013
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
RITA RUDNER
stand-up routine