SANTA CLAUS QUOTES
quotations about Santa Claus
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN
stand-up routine
Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.
DAVID LETTERMAN
Late Show with David Letterman, December 18, 2014
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
HAVEN GILLESPIE
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
It's always good for us to pause
And think awhile of Santa Claus--
That jolly symbol we revere
When we approach the changing year.
Behind his beard so long and white,
In which our children take delight,
There beats a heart from color free
Which bids all children "come to me."
MARSHALL M. MORGAN
"The Spirit of Santa Claus"
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY
attributed, The Funny Pages
It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence.
H. L. MENCKEN
Minority Report
The belief in Santa Claus is like virginity -- there's no getting it back. Sure, you can still have some amazing, magical experiences once it's gone, but you are fundamentally changed on the other side of that rite of passage. You are more grown up.
JENN-ANNE
"Dad told me there is no Santa Claus. Is that true, Mom?", Chicago Now, December 19, 2016
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
MAUD LINDSAY
"Santa Claus, a Wonder Story for Little Children"
Ho, ho, ho
Cherry nose
Cap on head
Suit that's red
Special night
Beard that's white
Must be Santa
BOB DYLAN
"Must Be Santa"
Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are.
TRUMAN CAPOTE
One Christmas
I believed in Santa Claus, my two daughters did when they were young, and now my grandchildren do. Santa Claus is a pleasing myth, and a source of conversation and family cohesion at holiday time. Its effect on the children have been unobservable -- save that it gave joy and satisfaction.
A. V. MILLAR
The Rotarian, December 1942
Santa Claus is anyone who loves another
and seeks to make them happy; who gives
himself by thought or word or deed in every gift
that he bestows; who shares his joys with those
who are sad; whose hand is never closed against
the needy; whose arm is ever outstretched to aid
the weak; whose sympathy is quick and genuine
in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade
and brother in every man he meets upon life's
common road; who lives his life throughout
the entire year in the Christmas spirit.
EDWIN OSGOOD GROVER
attributed, The Book of Santa Claus
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE
Twas the Night Before Christmas
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS
The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips & One-Liners
The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.
CRISS JAMI
Killosophy
Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!
LOUIS SACHAR
Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
SHIRLEY TEMPLE
attributed, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion
Whenever anyone was unselfish, that was Santa Claus. Christmas Eve was the time when everybody was unselfish. On that one night, Santa Claus was everywhere, because everybody, all together, stopped being selfish and wanted other people to be happy. And in the morning you saw what that had done.
LAURA INGALLS WILDER
On the Banks of Plum Creek
They err who think Santa Claus enters through the chimney. He enters through the heart.
CHARLES W. HOWARD
attributed, Legendary Locals of Orleans County, New York
I hear how kids wise up to the Santa Claus routine but pretend otherwise because the goods seem connected to keeping their parents' fantasies flowing. I've seen the parents trying to pretend for the same reason -- not because otherwise the gifts stop, but to maintain the innocence a little longer -- even when both sides know the other side knows.
CAROL BONOMO
Humble Pie