quotations about baldness
No Brenner male has ever gone bald. In my family, you can marry out of your faith or race, but God help you if you marry a bald man and bring the bald gene into the family pool. One cousin of mine violated the family code and married from the Dome Head Clan. Luckily they never had any children. Their dog went bald, which is something no one has ever understood and that has been discussed only in muted tones well out of earshot.
DAVID BRENNER
I Think There's a Terrorist in My Soup
Going bald isn't about losing your hair, it's about getting more head.
BILLY JOEL
attributed, "The Bald Truth", Vertical Life, August 21, 2012
Balding is God's way of showing you are only human. He takes the hair off your head and puts it in your ears.
BRUCE WILLIS
attributed, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader
I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz don't mean you ain't a peach.
DOLLY PARTON
attributed, Cooking With Hot Flashes
I must be going bald. It's taking longer and longer to wash my face.
HARRY HILL
attributed, Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever
Anyone who looks good with a bald head is seriously sexy.
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH
Making Wishes
Better a bald head than none at all.
AUSTIN O'MALLEY
Keystones of Thought
It is foolish to tear one's hear in grief, as if grief could be lessened by baldness.
CICERO
attributed, 20,000 Quips & Quotes
Gray hair is to be honored; a bald head deserves a bow.
CHINESE PROVERB
I don't consider myself bald, I'm just taller than my hair.
THOM SHARP
attributed, Men? You Won't Believe the Dumb Things They Say
If 30% of bald men are ugly and 30% of hairy men are ugly, being bald does not alter the probability of being ugly, and there is thus no association between baldness and ugliness.
J.H. ABRAMSON
Making Sense of Data
The truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
DAVE BARRY
Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus
God only made so many perfect heads; the rest he covered with hair.
ANONYMOUS
THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE BUYING A HAIRPIECE:
Will I be able to handle all the women?
Am I easily offended by smart-ass teenagers?
Should I wait for the after-Christmas hairpiece sales?
Will it appreciate in value?
What hairpiece would Jesus wear?
Have I explored all my comb-over options?
Should I spend the extra twenty bucks for the sideburns?
DAVID LETTERMAN
The Late Show
The Bible says the hairs on a man's head are numbered ... But listen, brother, where does that leave the baldheaded man? Is he shut out? Is he not even kept up with? Is he cut loose adrift without his name put down in the great book of records?
WILLIAM GAY
Provinces of Night
Within this vale of toil and sin, your head grows bald but not your chin.
EVEN ESAR
20,000 Quips & Quotes
All bald men are evil. Well, all men are evil, but bald ones particularly so.
MARGARET DRABBLE
The Middle Ground
It has been argued that balding is a sign for possible female mates that the balding male is beyond his prime and no longer fit to reproduce. However, this argument seems to be contrary to the rest of male reproductive behaviour and physiology which permits men to reproduce for almost as often and as long as desired.
JANE OGDEN
Fat Chance!
We're all born bald, baby.
TELLY SAVALAS
Newsweek, 1978
Our balding isn't peculiar to ourselves. It is found in several primate groups -- apparently having evolved independently in all of them. The South American uakari monkey balds with age even more completely than human beings.
RUSSELL DALE GUTHRIE
Body Hot Spots: The Anatomy of Human Social Organs and Behavior