DIVORCE QUOTES

quotations about divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events anyone goes through. Only the loss of a loved one and moving are even in its class, difficulty-wise--and divorcing generally involves both of those as well. Even when you are the one initiating the divorce, the enormous changes that result are bound to throw you off and leave you feeling, at the very least, a bit lost.

EMILY DOSKOW

Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce


Thank God you can flee, can escape from that massy five-foot-thick maggot-cheesy solidarity which overlays the earth, in which men and women in couples are ranked like ninepins.

WILLIAM FAULKNER

Absalom


My husband and I have never considered divorce ... murder, sometimes, but never divorce.

DR. JOYCE BROTHERS

attributed, 1001 Ways NOT to be Romantic


The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH

attributed, And I Quote


Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.

TERTULLIAN

Apologeticus


Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

ZSA ZSA GABOR

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man


The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

JOHNNY CARSON

attributed, Men Are Lunatics, Women Are Nuts!


Divorce is simply modern society's version of medieval torture. Except it lasts longer and leaves deeper scars. A divorce releases the most primitive emotions; the ugliest, raw feelings. Emotionally wounded people do their best to inflict pain upon the other party, but rather than using claws they use divorce lawyers.

WILLIAM SHATNER

Up Till Now


I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.

GLORIA SWANSON

New York Times, Mar. 10, 1979


A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you.

MARGARET ATWOOD

Time Magazine, Mar. 19, 1973


Unhappy as it may make you in the short term, staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

P.J. O'ROURKE

Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People


Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.

GARY CHAPMAN

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married


When he got a divorce, he and his wife split the house. He got the outside.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File

Tags: Milton Berle


Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.

WARREN FARRELL

foreword, Make Any Divorce Better


A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.

JIMMY FALLON

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Aug. 30, 2011


The obvious effect of frivolous divorce will be frivolous marriage. If people can be separated for no reason they will feel it all the easier to be united for no reason.

G. K. CHESTERTON

The Superstition of Divorce


I don't think I'll get married again; I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

LEWIS GRIZZARD

attributed, Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations


Divorce is the future tense of marriage.

MILTON BERLE

Milton Berle's Private Joke File

Tags: Milton Berle


I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

SUSAN B. ANTHONY

The Life and Work of Susan B. Anthony


For a couple with young children, divorce seldom comes as a “solution” to stress, only as a way to end one form of pain and accept another.

FRED ROGERS

Mister Rogers Talks With Parents