quotations about divorce
Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.
JAY LENO
The Tonight Show
There is a rumor that seven states are considering overpruning as a cause for divorce, second only to incompatibility and adultery. I hope our state is one of them. No judge would dare deny me freedom after he heard the story of my privet hedge.
ERMA BOMBECK
Forever
Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
JENNIFER WEINER
Fly Away Home
I pay my alimony on the button. I'm afraid that if I don't, my ex-wife will repossess me!
MILTON BERLE
Milton Berle's Private Joke File
Grown-ups are worried that they're going to ruin their children's lives, but divorce is just a life experience and you learn from it.
EVAN STERN
Divorce Is Not the End of the World
Gone is the idea that you know where you are headed, that you know who your friends are, that you know who you are. To get divorced is to feel entirely lost on streets that you could once navigate with your eyes closed. The past feels cut off, across a divide, barely visible behind you.
TOVA MIRVIS
"From Somewhere", Boston Globe Mazazine, Sep. 28, 2013
I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.
LENNY CLARKE
attributed, "The Wittiest Quotes on Divorce", Psychology Today, November 16, 2012
I harbor ill feelings toward a society, and a clergy, that allows marriage partners to split over the smallest incompatibility, where divorce comes in a multitude of flavors, like Baskin Robbins ice cream, where men and women can blame one another and everything except themselves for matrimony's mess. They look for externals over which they have no control and, fingering them, take no responsibility.
ROBERT DYKSTRA
She Never Said Goodbye
Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
EVAN ESAR
20,000 Quips & Quotes
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
ROBIN WILLIAMS
The Telegraph, August 12, 2014
Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.
LARRY GELBART
attributed, The Greatest Quotations of All Time
Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again.
EDWARD HOAGLAND
Red Wolves and Black Bears
My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.
LEE TREVINO
attributed, Golf List Mania!
When Georgie thought about divorce now, she imagined lying side by side with Neal on two operating tables while a team of doctors tried to unthread their vascular systems.
RAINBOW ROWELL
Landline
You thought your little romance
Was on the strict Q.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.
Divorce me C.O.D.
MERLE TRAVIS
"Divorce Me C.O.D."
You know, that's the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.
CLARE BOOTH LUCE
The Women
They ought to do away with divorce settlements. Instead, both parties should flip a coin. The winner gets to stay where he or she is and keep everything. The loser goes to Paraguay.
SUZANNE FINNAMORE
Split
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks but a divorce is something you always have.
WOODY ALLEN
attributed, The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Toasts & Quotes
So many persons think divorce a panacea for every ill, who find out, when they try it, that the remedy is worse than the disease.
DOROTHY DIX
Her Book
We've put it down, we've patched it up
We both have had our say
Divorce ain't black, divorce ain't white
Just a sad ole shade of gray.
BILL ANDERSON
"Sad Old Shade of Gray"