THE SIMPSONS QUOTES

quotations from The Simpsons

All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

HOMER, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: beer


You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

MARGE, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: justice


I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows!

BART, The Simpsons

0 likes


If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.

LISA, The Simpsons

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Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: vampires


You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.

MARGE, The Simpsons

0 likes


Non-violence never solved anything!

MR. BURNS, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: violence


There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

BART, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: souls


Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: television


You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: robots


What if you pretended that this couch were a bar? Then you could spend more nights at home with us. Huh?

MARGE, "Fear of Flying", The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: alcoholism


I think we'd be all better off if each country had its own planet.

BARNEY, The Simpsons

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Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

LISA, "Another Simpsons Clip Show", The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: romance


Stop in the name of a Private Citizen with no connection to the Law!

HOMER, The Simpsons

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Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be ... the Killbot Factory.

KENT BROCKMAN, "Homer Loves Flanders", The Simpsons

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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

HOMER, "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation", The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: marriage


Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals, except the weasel.

HOMER, "Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood", The Simpsons

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I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: work


I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt ... I can't compete with that stuff.

MOE, "Team Homer", The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: self-esteem


Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

MARGE, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: differences