American author (1842-1914)
A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"The Moonlit Road"
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
The question of human immortality is the most momentous that the mind is capable of conceiving. If it is a fact that the dead live all other facts are in comparison trivial and without interest. The prospect of obtaining certain knowledge with regard to this stupendous matter is not encouraging. In all countries but those in barbarism the powers of the profoundest and most penetrating intelligences have been ceaselessly addressed to the task of glimpsing a life beyond this life; yet today no one can truly say that he knows. It is as much a matter of faith as ever it was.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"