AMBROSE BIERCE QUOTES IV

American author (1842-1914)


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Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.

AMBROSE BIERCE
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"Epigrams of a Cynic"


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AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


LABOR, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary


Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"The Moonlit Road"


FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth.

AMBROSE BIERCE

The Devil's Dictionary

Tags: lying


The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"


Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

AMBROSE BIERCE

"Epigrams of a Cynic"